Dancing WIth the Stars

I know, I know. I shouldn't watch, but I do! So there. I got hooked last season because someone who will remain nameless, records this show, so I just had to watch. Well, it didn't take much for ABC to twist my arms and get my hooked on the show.

However, this current cast is bull shit. Does anyone even care who these people are anymore? That's why the show has so many performances by non contestants and tricks to get people watching. Essentially, the best parts of the show are when the professional dancers let lose and just do a dance on their own. It's always energetic and beyond entertaining. But let's break down the cast.

David Hasselhoff and his partner Kym Johnson- Ok, I don't know who she is, but in the beginning opener before they actually danced, I didn't like her. Am I the only one? From the Australian accent to the fake blonde hair AND fake tan, I just thought she was dumb. And "the Hoff," who according to Kym, doesn't like being called that, as she barked at the judges when they used the moniker. He danced like crap, he's annoying and always has been. I might be the only one who hated Knight Rider and Baywatch. He's as cheesey as it gets. Oh well, they got voted off on week one.

Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower- I LOVE HER!!! She's, by far, one of the best dancers on the show. And she's adorable. She got stuck last year with chinsy bachelor Jake Pavelka, and now she's got Michael Bolton. How can you not love him? He has a raspy sexy voice and he was engaged to Nicolette Sheridan. Seriously! My god. Yes his music his lame, but the fact he got a bombshell like her is hot and I think he'll do well. His performance this week, I though was kinda lame, but, maybe Chelsie will help him kick it up a notch!

Margaret Cho and Louis von Amstel- I don't like him. I didn't like him last season and I don't like him now. But, I LOVE Margaret Cho. I did get to meet her in Provincetown a few times and she's super sweet. She danced the Vienese Waltz and did it well, but WAY too much comedy. Lay off. Niecy Nash did that last year and ya know what? She didn't win. You're in the same slot; the comedic bigger girl who doesn't think she's pretty. Well, get over it and BE the pretty lady dancer that you know you want to be. You're a beautiful woman with an incredible comedic voice, so be you. Comedy will happen naturally, but don't force it, just live it.

Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke- I don't know much about him. I feel embarrassed to say that. He was on tv. I don't recall much of his performance, but I think because he's paired up one of the worst dancers on the show. I know girls that dance like her from college and they are, in a word, ANNOYING! She dances like it's competition dance. While, yes it is, dancers know what I'm talking about. High school competitive dance. It's the funniest thing to watch. There's little artistry, but it's literally just technique, which is fine, but when you're an adult, there needs to be more than great technique and a vaseline plastered smile on your face. And Rick, you're boring, I hope you go home soon.

Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough-This is my favorite. Who doesn't love Jennifer Grey??? OR Derek Hough. Hello amazing from last season and, oh yeah, the winner! Huh! Well, I think they could easily take it this year. Her performance was beautiful, but well, she had ballroom training back in the 80's when she filmed that little movie with Patrick Swayze, oh yeah, Dirty Dancing. So she definitely has a leg up on everyone. And this week her break down about Patrick was super sad. I almost started crying while she flipped out. VOTE FOR HER EVERYONE!!!

Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas- This is a joke. For real. At least the former "old person" slot was someone funny. Do we really have to sit through another fragile 80 year old walking around on the stage? I don't care if she is TV's favorite mom, she's annoying and needs to be voted off. Her partner, I have no idea who you are, your son in a million times the dancer you are. And you're name is Corky. BOOOOO

Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer- Ok! This couple I hated when they were introduced, but DAMN that kid can MOVE. I mean, what? WHo saw this coming. He owned the stage and his partner, who I have no idea who she is, but they did a fantastic job on the first show. So let's hope he's someone who will make the show interesting.

Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas- No, not quite the joke I expected. She's better than Kate Gosselin was last year and her mom has yet to show up. I was really impressed with how freeing dancing seemed to be for her. Must be all those repressed years living under a strict Alaskan political mom's rules. But hey, she is a rebel and we'll see where she goes. Plus, she has a super talented partner who can make anyone a fantastic dancer!

Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani- Really? My god she's annoying. Killer body though. ANd she can dance her face off. I just think she's really boring. At least Tony has something good to work with this year because let's face it, last year he had the hardest job of all, working with Kate Gosselin. I expect nothing from her because well, I think she's boring.


Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya-Alright, last year's runner up dancer with a pro football player. Well, he pretty much sucks, but Anna is fantastic at making men impressive on the dance floor. She's smokin' hot and insanely exciting when she dances, so this could be a wild card for that mirror ball trophy, but we'll see.

The Situation and Karina Smirnoff-I"m done. Jersey Shore fist pumping, or finger pumping. I don't know what he was doing. He did well for only having 5 days of rehearsal, but I'm so annoyed with his celebrated fame, that I just hate him. I hope he's voted off fast and furious so I don't have to write about him ever again.

And finally

Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovsky- She's a murderer and he's the bad boy hottie on the show. You'd think that would at least be interesting, however they were a total snoozefest. At least last year, when Maks was having sex with his partner there was some interesting dynamic to the two of them. This year, he even admits he's going to try to be the good boy. Really? Really. I can't believe it.


Overall, people danced really well or really bad. I'm glad "the hoff" is gone. Good riddance. Get the weak dancers out so I can actually enjoy what I watch on Monday nights. But, I'm putting it out there now, Jennifer Grey, keep working your ass off because I'll actually vote for you every week and I think you're gonna win!!!